Process diagram – three answers compared

A Task 1 process answered at around Band 5.5, 6.5 and 8. See how a weak overview, repeated linking words and an all-active style are upgraded, sentence by sentence, with a practice process.

A process diagram looks the easiest Task 1, because there are no figures to choose among and the order is given. That is exactly why so many candidates score around Band 5 or 6 on it: they simply copy the stages in order. What the examiner is looking for is something the diagram does not give you, which is a view of the whole, and language that is more varied than then… then… after that.

The task

Writing Task 1. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The diagram below shows how rainwater is collected and used in a household system.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

There are no images in this course, so the diagram is described in words. It is a side view of a house and its garden, with arrows showing the path of the water. The stages are labelled 1 to 10.

1. Rain falls on the roof of a house.
2. The water runs along the gutters into a downpipe.
3. At the bottom of the downpipe, a mesh leaf filter removes leaves and large debris.
4. The water flows along an underground pipe into a 3,000-litre storage tank buried in the garden.
5. In the tank, heavier dirt sinks to the bottom.
6. When the tank is full, extra water leaves through an overflow pipe into a soakaway (a pit filled with gravel) and drains into the ground.
7. An electric pump draws water from an intake just below the surface of the tank and sends it into the house.
8. In the house, the water passes through a fine filter.
9. The filtered water is supplied to the toilets, the washing machine and an outside tap. Drinking water still comes from the mains supply.
10. If the water in the tank is low in dry weather, a valve adds mains water to the tank automatically.

What the overview of a process contains

For a process, the overview does three things: it names the start and end of the process, it tells the reader the number of stages or main phases, and it points out any feature that is not a straight line, such as a loop, a branch, a conditional step or two outputs. Here, stages 6 and 10 happen only in certain conditions. That is the feature that makes this diagram interesting, and so it is the one a high-scoring answer is likely to notice.

Answer A, around Band 5.5

The diagram show the process of collecting rainwater and using it in a house. There are ten steps in the process.

Firstly, the rain fall on the roof of the house. Then the water go along the gutters into a downpipe. Then there is a leaf filter at the bottom of the downpipe, it takes the leaves and big things out of the water. After that, the water goes in a underground pipe and it goes to a tank in the garden. The tank is 3,000 litres. In the tank the dirt is going down to the bottom. If the tank is full, the water goes out by the overflow pipe to the soakaway and it go in the ground. Next, a pump is taking the water from the tank and it goes to a fine filter inside the house. Finally the water is used for the toilets, washing machine and the garden tap. The drinking water is from the mains. If the tank is low in dry weather, the mains water is added.

In conclusion, this is a good system because it saves water and money.

Examiner-style commentary on Answer A

Task Achievement. Every stage is mentioned, in the correct order, so the basic task has been done. But there is no overview. There are ten steps in the process is a fact about the diagram, not a summary of what the process does. The conclusion gives an opinion (this is a good system) and an explanation of benefits (saves water and money) that the diagram does not state, so it is irrelevant content. The reader cannot tell from the answer that two of the ten stages are conditional, that there are two filters, or that the water is not for drinking, though the last of these is hinted in the middle of the answer. The answer recounts the stages mechanically. Around Band 5.

Coherence and Cohesion. The order is logical because the diagram dictates it, and there are two short paragraphs, but the third (the conclusion) has no purpose. Linking is by sequencing words only: Firstly, Then, Then, After that, Next, Finally, with and it goes and and it go for the rest. The conditional stages are written in the same sequence as the others (If the tank is full…, If the tank is low…), which hides the structure of the process. Reference is limited to it and the water, which is repeated. Around Band 5.

Lexical Resource. The words are mostly those of the diagram itself: leaf filter, downpipe, overflow pipe, soakaway, fine filter. The candidate has taken them as labels and used them correctly, which is acceptable, but there is almost no paraphrase. Big things is informal and imprecise (the diagram says large debris). Go or goes is used six times for different actions. Around Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy. Nearly all the verbs are in the active voice and in the simple present, which is a limited range for a process, where the passive is expected. Errors are frequent: The diagram show, the rain fall, the water go, it go in the ground, a underground pipe, and the unnecessary continuous forms is going down and is taking. There is a comma splice (at the bottom of the downpipe, it takes…). Few sentences are fully correct. Around Band 5.

Estimate: Task Achievement around 5, Coherence and Cohesion around 5, Lexical Resource around 5.5, Grammar around 5, which is around Band 5 overall.

Answer B, around Band 6.5

The diagram illustrates how rainwater is collected from the roof of a house and used for household purposes.

Overall, the process has ten stages, and the water is filtered twice before it is used in the house.

First, rain falls onto the roof and runs along the gutters into a downpipe. At the bottom of this pipe, a leaf filter removes leaves and large pieces of dirt. The water then flows through an underground pipe into a 3,000-litre storage tank in the garden, where the heavier dirt sinks to the bottom. If the tank becomes full, the extra water leaves through an overflow pipe and drains into a soakaway, which is a pit filled with gravel.

After this, a pump takes the water from just below the surface of the tank and sends it to a fine filter inside the house. Finally, the cleaned water is supplied to the toilets, the washing machine and an outside tap. Drinking water still comes from the mains. In dry weather, when the tank level is low, a valve automatically adds mains water to the tank so it never run out.

Examiner-style commentary on Answer B

Task Achievement. There is a genuine overview, as a separate paragraph, and it is accurate: ten stages and filtered twice. It does not yet say what the system is for, where the water ends up, or that the process is not a single straight line, so it is a partial overview. The body covers all ten stages without error, and the answer paraphrases the labels well. One weakness is that the overflow (stage 6) is told in the same breath as the regular stages, so a reader might think that every drop of water goes through the soakaway. Around Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion. The paragraphing is clear, with an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs that divide the process at a logical point (collection and storage, then use). Sequencing is more varied than in A and sensibly placed (First, then, After this, Finally), though still the standard four. This pipe and the extra water link back appropriately. The final sentence is long and its meaning of so it never run out is slightly unclear because it joins a result clause to a time clause without a clear break. Around Band 6.5.

Lexical Resource. The vocabulary is good for the task and shows paraphrase: removes, flows, drains, supplied to, extra water, cleaned water. Large pieces of dirt is wordy where debris would do, and dirt is used twice in different senses. The water is repeated eight times where it or the flow would reduce repetition. Around Band 6.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy. A good mix: passives (is collected, is filtered, is supplied), relative clauses with where and which, and when and if clauses. The passive is used less than it could be, since most of the verbs in the middle of the answer are active (a pump takes, a valve adds). There is one clear error, so it never run out, and one slightly awkward construction. Most sentences are error-free. Around Band 6.5.

Estimate: Task Achievement around 6.5, Coherence and Cohesion around 6.5, Lexical Resource around 6.5, Grammar around 6.5, which is around Band 6.5 overall.

Answer C, around Band 8

The diagram shows how rainwater is collected from the roof of a house, stored underground and used for purposes that do not require drinking-quality water.

Overall, the process consists of ten stages, eight of which form a continuous path from roof to household use, while the other two operate only when the tank is full or running low.

Rain falling on the roof is channelled along the gutters into a downpipe, at the bottom of which a filter traps leaves and large debris. The water then flows along an underground pipe into a 3,000-litre tank buried in the garden, where heavier particles settle on the bottom. Once the tank is full, excess leaves through an overflow pipe and soaks into a gravel-filled pit.

From the tank, water is drawn by a pump through an intake just below the surface and sent to a fine filter inside the house. It is then supplied to the toilets, the washing machine and an outside tap, while drinking water continues to come from the mains. If the level in the tank falls during dry weather, a valve tops it up with mains water.

Examiner-style commentary on Answer C

Task Achievement. The first sentence sums up the process from beginning (collected from the roof) to end (purposes that do not require drinking-quality water), and it includes the key middle step, storage. The overview then does what the diagram makes possible: it separates the eight continuous stages from the two conditional ones. This is the main feature of the diagram, and the body is organised around it. Every stage is covered and the only number from the diagram that is given (3,000-litre) is accurate. There is no opinion and there is no explanation beyond what the diagram shows. Around Band 8.

Coherence and Cohesion. Progression is logical and the sequencing is built into the grammar rather than into signposts: then, once, from the tank, it is then supplied, if the level…. Paragraph 3 covers collection, paragraph 4 use and back-up. Reference words (at the bottom of which, where, it, any excess) connect the sentences smoothly. The conditional stages are told with once and if, so the reader sees at once that they are not part of the main sequence. Around Band 8.

Lexical Resource. Precise and varied, with natural collocations and appropriate paraphrase of the labels: channelled, traps, settle, soaks into, gravel-filled pit, tops it up, excess, debris. The word water is not repeated mechanically. Drinking-quality water is an accurate and compact way of saying water that is safe to drink. Around Band 8.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy. The range of structures is wide: participle phrases (Rain falling on the roof), passives (is channelled, is drawn, sent, is supplied), relative clauses with a preposition (at the bottom of which), compound adjectives (gravel-filled, 3,000-litre), and while and if clauses. Sentences are accurate throughout. Around Band 8.

Estimate: Task Achievement around 8, Coherence and Cohesion around 8, Lexical Resource around 8, Grammar around 8, which is around Band 8 overall.

What separates the three answers

In a process answer the difference between 6.5 and 8 is made mainly of grammar and sentence building: one sentence can combine three stages without going wrong, and the passive voice is used where it belongs.

The upgrade

Nine sentences from Answer B, each rewritten to the standard of Answer C, with the reason.

1. B: The diagram illustrates how rainwater is collected from the roof of a house and used for household purposes. C: The diagram shows how rainwater is collected from the roof of a house, stored underground and used for purposes that do not require drinking-quality water. Why: The rewrite adds the missing middle of the process, storage, and makes household purposes precise.

2. B: Overall, the process has ten stages, and the water is filtered twice before it is used in the house. C: Overall, the process consists of ten stages, eight of which form a continuous path from roof to household use, while the other two operate only when the tank is full or running low. Why: A number of stages is a detail anyone can count. The overview becomes useful when it describes the structure: here, a main path with two conditional stages.

3. B: First, rain falls onto the roof and runs along the gutters into a downpipe. At the bottom of this pipe, a leaf filter removes leaves and large pieces of dirt. C: Rain falling on the roof is channelled along the gutters into a downpipe, at the bottom of which a filter traps leaves and large debris. Why: Two sentences become one. The participle phrase replaces First, rain falls, the relative clause at the bottom of which replaces this pipe, and debris replaces large pieces of dirt.

4. B: The water then flows through an underground pipe into a 3,000-litre storage tank in the garden, where the heavier dirt sinks to the bottom. C: The water then flows along an underground pipe into a 3,000-litre tank buried in the garden, where heavier particles settle on the bottom. Why: Buried carries the idea of underground, and particles settle is more precise than dirt sinks.

5. B: If the tank becomes full, the extra water leaves through an overflow pipe and drains into a soakaway, which is a pit filled with gravel. C: Once the tank is full, excess leaves through an overflow pipe and soaks into a gravel-filled pit. Why: Once marks the stage as a result of the tank filling, and the compound adjective gravel-filled paraphrases the label without a defining clause.

6. B: After this, a pump takes the water from just below the surface of the tank and sends it to a fine filter inside the house. C: From the tank, water is drawn by a pump through an intake just below the surface and sent to a fine filter inside the house. Why: After this is vague, because after what? The passive puts the thing that matters, the water, first.

7. B: Finally, the cleaned water is supplied to the toilets, the washing machine and an outside tap. C: It is then supplied to the toilets, the washing machine and an outside tap, while drinking water continues to come from the mains. Why: Finally announces an ending that has not yet come (the back-up valve follows). The rewrite uses then and joins the contrast about drinking water with while.

8. B: Drinking water still comes from the mains. C: (Joined to the previous sentence with while.) Why: A short sentence that stands alone looks like an afterthought. Placed in a while clause, it is part of the description of use.

9. B: In dry weather, when the tank level is low, a valve automatically adds mains water to the tank so it never run out. C: If the level in the tank falls during dry weather, a valve tops it up with mains water. Why: The error (never run) is removed along with the unnecessary purpose clause, which is a guess about the aim of the valve. Tops it up replaces the repeated adds … to the tank.

Checklist for a process diagram

1. Overview. Does it name the start and end of the process, and say how many stages or phases there are? Does it mention anything that is not a straight line (a loop, a branch, a conditional step, two products)?
2. Everything covered. Is every stage included, in order? Missing a stage lowers Task Achievement.
3. No copying, no inventing. Paraphrase labels (debris for large debris, gravel-filled pit for soakaway), but do not add reasons or details that the diagram does not show.
4. Passive voice where the agent is unimportant. Use is collected, is drawn, is supplied, and use the active voice when a machine or a person is the real subject (a pump draws).
5. Vary the sequence language. Use First, then, once, after which, before, while, as a result, finally sparingly, and replace some of them with grammar (participle phrases, relative clauses, from the tank).
6. Join stages. Two or three linked stages in one sentence show control of grammar. Do not join more than three.
7. Present simple. Use it for a process, unless the diagram is clearly historical.
8. Paragraphs. One paragraph for the first half of the process and one for the second, or one per phase if the diagram has phases.
9. No opinion, no conclusion about value. This is a good system is not part of a report.

Practice task

Writing Task 1. The diagram below shows how bricks are made in a factory. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram shows nine labelled stages from left to right.

1. Clay is dug from a quarry by excavators.
2. Lorries carry the clay to the factory, where it is stored in a large shed.
3. The clay is crushed and mixed with water and sand to form a soft mixture.
4. A machine called an extruder forces the mixture through a metal die, which shapes it into a long column.
5. A wire cutter cuts the column into brick-sized pieces.
6. The bricks are dried for 24 to 48 hours in a drying chamber at about 100 degrees Celsius.
7. The dried bricks are fired in a kiln at about 1,000 degrees Celsius for around 40 hours.
8. The bricks cool slowly for two days.
9. They are checked, stacked on pallets and wrapped in plastic for delivery.

Short plan

• Overview. A nine-stage process that turns clay from a quarry into finished bricks ready for delivery. It has three phases: preparing and shaping the clay (stages 1 to 5), hardening it with heat (6 to 8) and packing (9). The only really long stages are drying, firing and cooling.
• Paragraph 1. Stages 1 to 5. Use participles (Clay dug from a quarry is…) and a relative clause (an extruder, which forces…).
• Paragraph 2. Stages 6 to 9. Use once, before or after which instead of then, and use the numbers (100 and 1,000 degrees) to show the rise in temperature.
• Check. Include at least four passives, two sentences that join two stages, and no Firstly… Secondly… Thirdly.

Key points

• A process overview names the start, the end and the number of stages, and points out any step that is conditional, repeated or branching.
• Copying the stages in order, with then between them, is a Band 5 to 6 pattern.
• Use the passive for what happens to the material, and join two or three stages in one sentence.
• Build the sequence into the grammar (participles, once, from the tank) and keep a few signposts for variety.
• Paraphrase the labels and do not add reasons or evaluations.

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