Opinion essay – three answers compared

A Task 2 agree or disagree essay answered at around Band 5.5, 6.5 and 8. See how to hold one position, develop each idea, answer the other side and upgrade the language.

An opinion question asks what you think and how far you think it. The weakest answers do not decide: they agree in the introduction, disagree in the second paragraph and agree again in the conclusion, trying to sound balanced. The best answers choose a position early, build every paragraph to support it, and deal with the opposing view honestly. This lesson shows the difference on one question.

The task

Writing Task 2. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic.

Some people believe that smartphones should be banned in secondary schools for the whole of the school day, including break times.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Reading the question before you write

Underline four things: smartphones (the topic), banned (not limited or discouraged), the whole of the school day, including break times (the scope) and to what extent (you must state a degree of agreement). The scope is the trap. Many candidates write only about lessons and never mention break times, so part of the question goes unanswered.

To what extent does not ask for both sides in equal parts. It asks for one position, with a degree. These are the positions available here.

Any of them can score Band 8, provided you choose before you write, say it in the introduction, support it in every body paragraph and repeat it in the conclusion.

Answer A, around Band 5.5

Nowadays, smartphone is very popular in the world, and many people have it from a young age. Some people think that smartphones should be banned in schools. In my opinion, I agree with this opinion to some extent but I also disagree.

Firstly, smartphones have many disadvantages for students. Students can play games in the class and they can not pay attention to the teacher. Also, they use social media like Instagram and TikTok all the time, even in the break, so their concentration become worse. Another disadvantage is cyberbullying. Some students send bad messages to other students and this make a big problem for the school. For these reasons, I think smartphones are harmful to students and should be banned.

On the other hand, smartphones also have advantages. For example, students can use dictionary on their phone, so they can learn English more easily, and they can take a photo of the board for study. Besides, if there is an emergency, the parents can contact the child, so smartphone is very important for safety. Also, in modern society, technology play an important role in our life, so children must learn how to use it. If we ban smartphones, students will not be able to use technology and they will fall behind.

In conclusion, smartphones have both advantages and disadvantages. Therefore, the school should ban smartphones in the class but the students can use it outside. I think this is the best solution for everybody. However, this is a controversial topic and everyone have different opinion.

Examiner-style commentary on Answer A

Task Response. The position is unclear and it changes. The introduction says I agree with this opinion to some extent but I also disagree, which tells the examiner nothing. The second paragraph argues for a ban (should be banned), the third argues against one (they will fall behind), and the conclusion suddenly proposes a ban in the class only, which is a third position that the essay never prepared. Break times, part of the question, appear only as outside in the last sentence. Ideas are listed, not developed: they can not pay attention to the teacher is not explained, cyberbullying is a label without an example of how a ban would affect it, and they will fall behind is claimed without a reason. The examples are generic (Instagram and TikTok). Around Band 5.

Coherence and Cohesion. There are four paragraphs and the sequence is logical, but the structure is the template disadvantages, then advantages, not an argument that leads to a position. Linking words (Firstly, Also, Another, On the other hand, Besides, Therefore, However) are used mechanically, and also appears four times. Ideas inside paragraphs are joined by so and and with no progression, and the last paragraph adds a new idea (the rule for class and outside) that the essay has not prepared. Around Band 5.5.

Lexical Resource. Several phrases look memorised and fit any topic: Nowadays, very popular in the world, play an important role in our life, this is a controversial topic. The vocabulary of the topic is basic and repeated (advantages and disadvantages appear three times; big problem; bad messages). There are word-choice errors (have it from a young age for have one, use dictionary, use it outside), but the meaning is nearly always clear. Around Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy. Simple and compound sentences dominate, with a few if and so clauses. Errors are frequent and mostly basic: subject and verb agreement (their concentration become, this make, technology play, everyone have), missing articles or plurals (smartphone is very popular, use dictionary) and can not written as two words. Most sentences have an error, though few stop the reader understanding. Around Band 5.5.

Estimate: Task Response around 5, Coherence and Cohesion around 5.5, Lexical Resource around 5.5, Grammar around 5.5, which is around Band 5.5 overall.

Answer B, around Band 6.5

Smartphones have become an essential part of daily life, and many schools are now deciding whether to prohibit them completely during the school day. I agree with this policy for the most part, because phones harm learning and damage relationships between students, although I accept that there are some exceptions.

The main reason for supporting a ban is that smartphones distract students from their lessons. Even when a phone is in a pocket or on a desk, the notifications can interrupt a student’s concentration. As a result, their exam results may suffer. In addition, a ban would make the work of teachers easier, because they would not have to spend time asking students to put their phones away.

Another reason is that phones have a negative effect on social life at school. At break time, many teenagers look at their screens instead of talking to each other, so there are less opportunities to develop social skills. Furthermore, cyberbullying is a serious problem, and a ban would make it less likely during the school day, though it cannot stop bullying outside school.

However, some people argue that a complete ban is unfair, because parents want to contact their children in an emergency. This is a reasonable point, but schools already have a telephone in the office, so parents can call the school if they need to. Others say that phones are useful for research. In my opinion, schools can provide tablets or computers for that purpose, which is better than allowing phones.

In conclusion, I agree that smartphones should be banned in schools, as they distract students and reduce face-to-face communication, although there are a few arguments against the ban.

Examiner-style commentary on Answer B

Task Response. The position is clear and it does not change: agreement for the most part, with exceptions. It is stated in the introduction and in the conclusion, and the body paragraphs support it. Break times are covered in the third paragraph. The counter-argument is addressed and answered, which is a strength. The weakness is depth. Most ideas stop one step short: their exam results may suffer is a prediction, not an explanation, and a serious problem does not say why school hours matter. The second objection (phones are useful for research) is dismissed in one sentence, and the some exceptions promised in the introduction are never named. Around Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion. The organisation is clear: introduction, two reasons, counter-argument, conclusion, and each paragraph has a main idea that is announced (The main reason, Another reason). Cohesive devices are correct but conspicuous (In addition, Furthermore, However, As a result), there is little reference to join ideas, and the conclusion repeats the introduction. The essay moves by adding reasons, not by building on them. Around Band 6.5.

Lexical Resource. The topic vocabulary is adequate and sometimes precise: prohibit, notifications, interrupt, face-to-face communication, social skills. The language is general in places (negative effect, serious problem, a reasonable point), the work of teachers is more natural as teachers’ workload, and there is one clear error of form, less opportunities. Nothing sounds memorised. Around Band 6.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy. There is a good range for this band: conditional and reason clauses (because they would not have to spend time asking), although and though for contrast, a concession (This is a reasonable point, but…), and a few relative clauses. Most sentences are error-free, and the few errors (less opportunities, the unclear which is better than allowing phones) do not impede communication. Too many sentences follow the pattern of main clause plus because clause, which limits the range. Around Band 6.5.

Estimate: Task Response around 6.5, Coherence and Cohesion around 6.5, Lexical Resource around 6.5, Grammar around 6.5, which is around Band 6.5 overall.

Answer C, around Band 8

Few changes to school life have been as divisive as the removal of the smartphone. I largely agree that phones should be banned for the whole school day, including break times, since the benefits for learning and for friendship outweigh the inconvenience, provided that a small number of exceptions are made.

The strongest argument concerns attention. A phone that is switched on competes with the teacher even when it stays in a bag: a pupil who is wondering whether a message has arrived is not fully engaged with a difficult paragraph or an algebra problem. Because learning depends on sustained effort, a policy that removes the temptation altogether is more reliable than one that relies on a thirteen-year-old’s self-control, and it spares teachers the daily negotiation over whose phone is out.

A ban at break times is harder to defend, but it is, in my view, equally justified. Corridors and playgrounds are among the few places where young people practise conversation, negotiation and friendship without an audience. If lunchtime is spent scrolling, those skills are not developed, and social media gives bullying and exclusion a reach that the school gates cannot contain.

The most serious objection is that parents need to reach their children, and that some pupils need phones for medical reasons. These concerns are legitimate, but they call for exemptions, not an abandonment of the rule: families can contact the school office, and a pupil who monitors a medical condition can be given permission in agreement with the school. Nor does a ban leave pupils digitally illiterate, since schools can teach responsible use in lessons on school computers.

In conclusion, a whole-day ban with defined exceptions protects both concentration and friendship, and the occasional inconvenience to families is a price worth paying.

Examiner-style commentary on Answer C

Task Response. The position is stated precisely in the introduction (largely agree, whole school day, including break times, provided that a small number of exceptions are made) and it is the logic of every paragraph. Both halves of the scope are argued separately: lessons in paragraph two, break times in paragraph three. Admitting that break times are harder to defend makes the argument more credible. The counter-argument is named as the most serious objection, split into two parts (contact, medical need) and answered with specific exceptions, so the exceptions promised in the introduction are defined. Ideas are extended with a reason and a consequence (Because learning depends on sustained effort, a policy that removes the temptation…). What keeps this at Band 8 and not 9 is that several claims are explained but not illustrated with a real example. Around Band 8.

Coherence and Cohesion. Each paragraph opens with a topic sentence that ranks the point (The strongest argument, …harder to defend, …The most serious objection), so the argument has an order of importance and not an order of listing. Progression is by logic (Because…, If lunchtime is spent…, since schools can…) and by reference (those skills, These concerns), with no Furthermore or In addition. The conclusion restates the position in one sentence, with the same condition as the introduction. Around Band 8.

Lexical Resource. The language is precise and natural, and at times striking: divisive, competes with the teacher, sustained effort, without an audience, a reach that the school gates cannot contain, exemptions, digitally illiterate. Nothing is memorised, and the topic vocabulary is used with confidence, not displayed. Around Band 8.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy. The range is wide and controlled: a provided that clause, a colon to introduce an explanation, comparative structures (more reliable than one that relies on), a conditional (If lunchtime is spent…), an inversion with Nor does, passives and relative clauses. Sentences vary in length and almost all are error-free. Around Band 8.

Estimate: Task Response around 8, Coherence and Cohesion around 8, Lexical Resource around 8, Grammar around 8, which is around Band 8 overall.

What separates the three answers

From A to B the change is position: decide, and stay decided. From B to C it is depth: explain how and why, rank the arguments and answer the opposition with a solution, not a sentence.

The upgrade

Eight sentences from Answer B, each rewritten to the standard of Answer C, with the reason.

1. B: Smartphones have become an essential part of daily life, and many schools are now deciding whether to prohibit them completely during the school day. C: Few changes to school life have been as divisive as the removal of the smartphone. Why: The original is background every examiner has read many times. The rewrite makes a claim about the topic itself.

2. B: I agree with this policy for the most part, because phones harm learning and damage relationships between students, although I accept that there are some exceptions. C: I largely agree that phones should be banned for the whole school day, including break times, since the benefits for learning and for friendship outweigh the inconvenience, provided that a small number of exceptions are made. Why: For the most part does not say which part. The rewrite names the scope, the reason and the condition.

3. B: Even when a phone is in a pocket or on a desk, the notifications can interrupt a student’s concentration. C: A phone that is switched on competes with the teacher even when it stays in a bag: a pupil who is wondering whether a message has arrived is not fully engaged with a difficult paragraph or an algebra problem. Why: It shows the mechanism (waiting for a message) instead of a general claim.

4. B: As a result, their exam results may suffer. C: Because learning depends on sustained effort, a policy that removes the temptation altogether is more reliable than one that relies on a thirteen-year-old’s self-control. Why: Exam results may suffer has no step between cause and effect. The rewrite explains why attention matters and links it to the policy.

5. B: At break time, many teenagers look at their screens instead of talking to each other, so there are less opportunities to develop social skills. C: Corridors and playgrounds are among the few places where young people practise conversation, negotiation and friendship without an audience. Why: The error less opportunities disappears, and the rewrite says why break time is valuable, which is the real reason for the ban.

6. B: Furthermore, cyberbullying is a serious problem, and a ban would make it less likely during the school day, though it cannot stop bullying outside school. C: …and social media gives bullying and exclusion a reach that the school gates cannot contain. Why: A serious problem is vague. The rewrite explains why bullying by phone is hard to control and drops the mechanical Furthermore.

7. B: However, some people argue that a complete ban is unfair, because parents want to contact their children in an emergency. C: The most serious objection is that parents need to reach their children, and that some pupils need phones for medical reasons. Why: The writer owns the objection, calls it the most serious and adds a second part, so the reply is complete.

8. B: This is a reasonable point, but schools already have a telephone in the office, so parents can call the school if they need to. C: These concerns are legitimate, but they call for exemptions, not an abandonment of the rule: families can contact the school office, and a pupil who monitors a medical condition can be given permission in agreement with the school. Why: The objection is shown to justify exceptions, not the end of the ban, which links it to the thesis, and the exceptions are defined.

Checklist for an opinion essay

1. Choose a position and a degree. Write one sentence before you start: I largely agree that… Do not write I agree and disagree.
2. Cover the whole question. Underline every part of the scope (here, the whole day, including break times) and make sure each one appears in the essay.
3. Introduction in two sentences. Paraphrase the question and state your position. Leave out Nowadays.
4. Two main reasons, each developed. Make the claim, explain how or why, and give a consequence or an example. Two developed reasons are better than four listed ones.
5. Answer the other side once, properly. Name the strongest objection, say why it is reasonable, and show why it does not change your position.
6. Topic sentences that rank. The strongest argument…, A harder case…, The most serious objection…
7. Link by logic. Use because, since, which means and reference words, and keep Furthermore and In addition to a minimum.
8. Conclusion in one or two sentences. Restate the position and its condition. Add no new idea.
9. Check for the typical errors. Agreement of subject and verb, articles, countable and uncountable nouns (fewer opportunities, less time).
10. Time and length. Spend about 5 minutes planning, 30 writing and 5 checking, and write at least 250 words. Task 2 is worth twice as much as Task 1.

Practice task

Writing Task 2. Some people believe that cooking and basic household skills such as budgeting and repairs should be a compulsory subject in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Short plan

• Position. Largely agree: it should be compulsory, but short and practical, not another examined subject.
• Paragraph 1. The skills are needed by everyone and are taught inconsistently at home: many young adults leave home unable to cook, so they rely on takeaways and ready meals, with consequences for health and budget.
• Paragraph 2. Schools are the only place where every young person receives the same teaching, and practical lessons build confidence and independence in a way that a leaflet cannot.
• Counter-argument. The timetable is already full and parents should teach these skills. Answer: replace part of an existing subject with a half-term module, because not every home can teach it.
• Check. State the degree of agreement in the introduction, give a specific example in each body paragraph, and repeat the condition (short and practical) in the conclusion.

Key points

• An opinion question asks for one position and a degree. Decide before you write and keep to it from the introduction to the conclusion.
• Answer the whole question, including any detail in the scope, such as break times.
• Two ideas developed with an explanation and a consequence score higher than four ideas listed.
• Answer the strongest objection and show how it leads to exceptions, not to a change of mind.
• Link by logic and topic sentences, avoid memorised openings and check basic errors.

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